Finding Happiness
by airam06
Summary: Fluffy/smut. After destroying a dangerous werewolf colony, Dean gives Garth some sound advice: who cares where happiness comes from as long as you're happy? But not all the werewolves were killed, and they want revenge. Will Dean live to find his happiness? Rated M for smut in final chapter. Angel!Cas. Destiel all the way! Complete. Picture credit: DeviantArt's Life-Writer.
1. Chapter 1

Cas and Dean were arguing again. It seemed like it was all they ever did.

"What were you thinking, Dean? Going to a werewolf colony without me? Anything could have happened to you! Those werewolves wanted to murder you!" Cas yelled loudly.

"We're _always_ nearly murdered! It's kind of our thing. Look, we did our job, we got out of there. Garth needed us, what else were we supposed to do?" Dean shouted back.

"You could have prayed to me! Asked me to come help you. You know I would have," Cas replied.

"Yeah? So where have you been, huh? You just leave us while you deal with- whatever it is you're trying to deal with," Dean said angrily.

Cas stopped and stared. How could Dean not know? He would do anything to keep him safe, hadn't he proven that? He felt his face flush. Dean was his best friend. He'd never let anything bad happen to him, and now he was standing here, yelling at Cas for daring to care for his safety. It was more than he could take. With a soft flutter, Cas disappeared.

Dean cursed under his breath and sat in a chair in their dingy motel room. Sam had been watching from one of the twin beds, sitting as far off in the corner as he could. He cleared his throat.

"You know, he just worries about you, that's all. I think it's kind of sweet," Sam said.

"It's frustrating, that's what it is. He thinks I can't handle myself," Dean answered.

"I doubt that. Think like this: you know I can handle demons alone, yeah?"

"Of course, don't be stupid," Dean replied.

"But you still want to be there when I'm doing it," Sam said.

Dean held still as the reality of these words hit him. Sammy could take on demons. Hell, Sammy could take on anything. But he wanted to know he was safe, and in order to know, he had to be there.

"Cas pulled you out of hell. He's saved your ass more times than you'd like to admit, and mine too. It's a sad way to repay his loyalty to fight with him over it," Sam said.

Dean grunted a reply. He already felt like a jackass.

"Turn on the t.v. or something, Sammy. I'm going for a walk."

The cool evening air made Dean pull his jacket tighter around him. It seemed like it had been days since he and Sam had tracked Garth to a hotel, where he had told them he had become a werewolf. And even worse, he lived in a colony of them! Dean had wondered how Garth could have been tricked into believing werewolves could be good. Garth wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but surely he wasn't that dumb.

Garth introduced him to his wife (who would've thought he'd find someone to marry?), and family, who proceeded to try and kill them all. Garth has been right about his wife. And thankfully, both of them survived the onslaught. Garth had said he was happy with his wife, as weird as their situation seemed. He truly did seem happy too. So Dean had given him the best advice he could: to hold on to that happiness, because who cares where it comes from?

Dean shook his head to clear the thoughts swirling around. An intrusive thought crept in. Maybe Cas was protective because being around Dean and Sammy made him happy. And all Dean had given him for his thoughtfulness was anger.

Why did he always react to Cas this way? Dean knew he wanted the best for him and Sammy. Damn, he sure _was_ a jackass. He heard a swish behind him, and knew Cas had come back. He couldn't bear to look him in the eyes right now.

"I get it Cas, you were worried about me. I know how you feel. I worry too…I'm not good with apologizing, but I think I overreacted."

He waited for Cas to say something, anything. He heard him step closer, and realized he may have to turn around to make sure his message was received.

"Cas-?" Dean turned. He barely had time to register that the face behind him wasn't Cas when he felt a surge of pain in his lower abdomen. He gazed in shock at the werewolf's face, and the knife handle protruding from his gut.

"I guess you forgot one of us in the colony," the evil face leered at him.

Dean couldn't breathe. The air was getting dense, the sky dark. He fell to his knees.

"Cas," he whispered, as everything turned to inky blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas had flown to a nearby park to clear his mind. His fight with Dean had hurt him deeply. He was staring out into the pond when he heard it in his mind.

"_Cas._"

It was just a whisper, barely audible, and the angel knew something was terribly wrong. Fear gripped his insides as he flew to the motel. As he landed, he saw Dean sprawled face down on the pavement, and a large hairy werewolf ripping the skin on him to shreds.

"Dean! _Sam!_" he yelled as he flew to Dean's side.

The werewolf looked up and howled in fury and fear. He saw the wings of the angel, and ran off as fast as his legs would carry him. Cas thought of following, but didn't dare leave Dean's side. He saw Sam running toward him. Sam saw Dean and his face went pale.

"It was a werewolf, Sam. He took off. Help me, we have to get him inside," Cas said, carefully pulling Dean into his arms. He was wet with blood, his clothes stained a sickly red, and a bronze knife sticking out from his stomach.

"Oh, God. Hurry, Cas," Sam said, and together they pulled him back into the hotel room.

They laid him on the bed, and Cas immediately set to work on trying to heal Dean's wounds. He pulled the remnants of his clothes off, and the knife out of his stomach. The wound began to leak thick blood onto the sheets. Cas quickly put his hands on that spot to heal it first.

"Is he going to be okay?" Sam asked anxiously.

"I believe so. I got to him just in time. He'll probably be unconscious for a bit, and he shouldn't do anything too strenuous for at least a week."

"Thank God you got to him. How did you know he was hurt?" Sam asked.

Cas hesitated.

"He…he prayed my name."

"He called for you? But I was right across the street! I could have been there right away," Sam looked confused.

"I don't want to anger you," Cas replied softly.

"Anger me? Are you joking? He called the person he thought could help him the most, Cas. And that was you. You've always been there, and he knew it, no matter what he argued about earlier. Look, there are werewolves out there who want us dead. I can't sit here and wait a week to hunt them down. Are you sure he's going to recover?" Sam asked.

"Positive. You know he'd want me to go with you, Sam. He never wants you to go alone," Cas said.

"I know, man. I do. But I can't wait for him to wake up, and you can't leave his side. He needs someone. Just tell him…tell him I'll be back soon. I promise."

Sam stood to leave. He stopped, and walked over to his brother. He put his hand on his beaten and gouged face, and leaned in close to him.

"I promise, Dean," he said softly.

He headed back toward the door.

"Sammy," Cas said.

Sam turned, not used to hearing his nickname from the angel.

"Yes?"

"Be careful," Cas said.

Sam nodded his agreement, and disappeared out into the evening, closing the door quietly behind him.

Cas turned back to healing Dean. Something was wrong. He could heal him from the physical wounds with his hands, but he could still feel the pain in the stab wound. Standing quietly so he didn't disturb Dean, he went to examine the blade he had pulled from his best friend's stomach. It looked unremarkable enough. A simple bronze blade with a plain handle. But what was that engraved on it? He gasped and the blade clattered to the floor, the sign of Lucifer staring back at him.

"C-Cas?" Dean's weak voice came from the bed, and Cas was instantly at his side.

"It's okay, Dean. You're back in the room, you're going to be fine."

"What happened? Where is the werewolf?" he asked, looking around the room as though he expected it to manifest at any time. "And where's Sam?"

"The werewolf is gone, and Sam is…Sam is gone too. He went to find the ones that are left from the colony," Cas answered.

"Sam is alone? Why did you let him go alone? You should have left me and gone with him!" Dean exclaimed.

"I couldn't leave you. You were very hurt. You're lucky you managed to call to me, or I doubt you would have made it at all," Cas said.

"Well, I'm fine now! We have to go get Sammy!" Dean tried to sit up, and yelled out in pain, clutching his stomach.

"Cas, why am I still hurting? I thought you healed me?" Dean said.

"I did. I mean, I tried. That was no ordinary blade. It's cursed from Lucifer himself. I can heal the physical wounds and scars on you, but the blade went beyond that. When the werewolf stabbed you, you were meant to die. That blade would have sent your soul to hell."

"So you're saying that I have a wound in my- my-" Dean stuttered.

"Your soul, yes," Cas answered.

"How do I fix it? Can you heal it?" Dean asked him.

"I'm afraid I can't. A hole in your soul can only be fixed by finding and repairing the part of your soul that's damaged from the wound. And to me, it feels like the part of your soul that's damaged is your happiness," Cas said.

"Well, I'm shit out of luck then. My happiness has been gone for a long time. I guess he stabbed me in the best place then?" Dean gave a hearty attempt at a smile.

"Don't worry. We'll figure out something," Cas replied.

"And Sam?" Dean asked, his voice wavering.

"He's been fighting these creatures for a long time. He will be fine. I don't want to leave you here alone, Dean. If the werewolves wanted to send your soul to hell and failed, you can be sure they will come back and try again. And you're in no position to fight any off. Come on, let me get you to another hotel. Throw them off the trail," Cas said.

"If you're sure. Just promise me you'll check on Sam every once in a while. I don't want him alone out there. And Cas?" Dean said.

"What, Dean?" he answered.

"I'm so sorry for arguing earlier. Thank you for coming to save me," Dean said softly.

Cas smiled.

"Anytime."

Dean slowly got to his feet, and despite the pain in his stomach, he felt safe.

**A/N Thanks for reading! Leave your reviews! I love reading them. More chapters to come soon! **


	3. Chapter 3

The drive to the new motel had been painful for Dean. Every bump in the road had caused excruciating pain deep inside his stomach. But he knew Cas couldn't drive, and didn't dare ask him to. Cas had done enough for him already.

The motel clerk was noticeably unnerved by the pair when they checked in. There was Dean, who could hardly stand, clutching his stomach with one hand and the other man's shoulder with the other. The two had walked clumsily away to their room, leaving the clerk to wonder about them.

Dean collapsed into a couch in the room as soon as he got there. Sunlight was beginning to stream through the windows and illuminated the room. As far as motel rooms go, it was perfect. Much better than their typical toilet/sink/bed combo. This room even had a small kitchen area where meals could be prepared. The sight reminded Dean that he was starving. He tried to stand to get to his bag.

"No way. Sit down, I'll get it. Bologna sandwich?" Cas asked as he reached for the bag.

"Uh, yeah, please," he replied, and the angel went to work preparing it. When the sandwiches were done, Cas came over and sat on the couch with Dean. They sat in comfortable silence, listening to the early morning birds outside. Cas finished his sandwich, and placed his hand on Dean's knee. Dean's stomach gave another painful jolt. Maybe eating the bologna wasn't such a great idea.

"Are you okay? How is the pain?" Cas was asking Dean, who had momentarily zoned out to escape the twisting stab in his stomach.

"It's alright. I think it actually feels better than it did when we got here," Dean said. "I can't eat this. I think I'd like to sleep for a bit, actually."

Cas didn't need sleep, but carefully helped Dean get into bed and get comfortable. The bed was soft and warm, and soon Dean had fallen asleep watching the horrible early morning soap operas that Cas was fond of.

It must have been several hours later when the sound of Cas' voice speaking on the phone slowly awakened Dean. He rolled over, wincing as his stomach pained, but wanting some more sleep. Then he heard his own name.

"Dean wanted me to check on you. How is everything? Have you found any of them?"

Cas was momentarily silent as Sam filled him in on his adventures.

"Well, that's not too many…Garth is there too? Tell him I say hello…oh yeah, Dean is feeling better. He's sleeping now. I was so worried, I thought I might have lost him for a few minutes there…yeah, I don't know what I would have done... I don't know Sam, he's my best friend, isn't that reason enough to be worried? Okay…okay, you stay safe out there. Talk to you soon."

Dean couldn't help but smile. Cas was truly worried about him. But what had he meant by a 'good enough reason to be worried'? What had Sammy asked him? A thought occurred to him, but he pushed it away. It was absurd, laughable.

He stretched and sat up, noticing the pain had diminished some. The sleep had worked so well.

"Feel better?" Cas smiled at him.

"Yeah, what time is it anyway?" Dean answered.

"Nearly five in the evening. I called Sam," he said.

"Yeah? How is he?" Dean asked. He knew the two had talked, but he didn't want Cas to think he'd been listening to their conversation.

"He's safe. Garth is with him. He reckons there are only about twenty or so holdouts from the church," Cas said.

"_Only_? He isn't going to take on that many alone, is he?" Dean asked, panic in his voice.

"Relax, Dean, he isn't going to do anything that dumb. He and Garth are together. They're planning something."

Dean didn't look convinced, but knew there was little he could do in his current state.

"Look, I don't know about you, but I don't want bologna again for dinner. How about we go out and try to relax? You, er, may need to shower first," Cas said, indicating Dean's torn and bloody clothing.

"Oh, yeah. Give me just a minute, and I will," he said, and swung himself out of the bed with a fair amount of ease. He sauntered to the bathroom, and Cas heard the water start.

That was something, thought Cas. The pain seemed to be lessening. But how? A thought came into his head. A thought so blatantly impossible that Cas laughed at it. He shook his head. Maybe Dean was just putting on a show to prove he was healing, in case he decided to run off to help Sam.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

"Man, this is much better than bologna sandwiches," Dean said, as he ate his steak and baked potato.

Cas had convinced him to try a place called _The Steak Palace_, even though Dean thought the name sounded stupid. He had to admit, though, Cas had been right. Everything was delicious. Other than the obnoxious pop music playing through the speakers, it was a nice place.

"This chicken is good too. And I have to admit, I like beer more than I thought I would," Cas smiled as he took another sip of the amber liquid.

The beer _was_ good, and it surprisingly wasn't hurting Dean's stomach. It felt peaceful to just be sitting and doing something as normal as having a steak and beer in a restaurant.

"I agree, it's very peaceful," Cas said, as he took a bite of chicken.

"Yeah, that's right. The mind-reading thing," Dean smiled.

"You know, I'm surprised your stab wound isn't hurting more," Cas said quietly.

"Me too. I figured it would be aching like crazy. But it seems to be getting better all the time," Dean said, putting his beer down on the table at the same time as Cas did. The back of their hands brushed slightly.

A pain like a hot iron pulsed through Dean's stomach. He gasped so loudly that people at tables near theirs turned to look. His eyes open wide, he stared at Cas. This couldn't be.

"Dean, is it…bad?" Cas asked him.

Dean nodded his head. Cas flagged down the waitress.

"I'm sorry, something has come up and we need to leave. Can we have some to-go boxes and the check please?" he asked her.

She nodded her head. A few minutes later, Cas and Dean were on the road back to the motel. Dean's stomach was still twinging, but the hot pain had passed. He was very quiet as they made their way back into the motel room.

"Here, Dean. Let me help you get your jacket off," Cas said, reaching up to pull it off the pained man. As he did so, his fingers brushed Dean's neck. Pain seared through Dean again, and he let out a grunt, unable to hide it from Cas any longer.

Cas pulled away immediately. He couldn't stand the look of pain on Dean's face. And then he understood.

"_I_ am causing your pain, aren't I?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded.

"I don't know how, Cas, but that seems to be the case," he replied.

"That means…Dean, are you happy with me?" Cas asked.

"Of course I am," Dean answered, bewildered. "You're my best friend."

"Then the happiness you feel is trying to fill your soul back up. That's what is causing the pain. Hopefully it means you are on your way to healing," Cas said.

Dean smiled broadly. The sheer happiness of it, the sudden burst of pure light from inside, caused Cas to inhale sharply. He suddenly felt very hot.

"I think I'll have a shower. Just call if you need me," Cas forced a smile and walked into the bathroom.

What was Dean doing to him? He admitted, he had always been closer to Dean than to Sam, but he had always had a purely platonic relationship with him both. When Dean had smiled like that, it had pulled at Cas' heart in a way he'd never felt before. He tried to dismiss it as joy for his friend, but he knew it was more. He shook his head. Dean was straight. He had been with plenty of women, and Cas knew that for a fact. They could never have a relationship, especially when it hurt every time Cas touched Dean at all. But…his heart leapt at a sudden thought; if Dean only thought of him as a friend, then why was it his _touch _that caused the pain, instead of just his presence? Cas opened the curtain, and stepped out of the shower, at the precise moment that Dean opened the bathroom door.


	4. Chapter 4

"Shit!" Dean exclaimed loudly. "Sorry Cas, I needed to take a pee."

Shielding his eyes, Dean backed out of the bathroom. He sat on the couch, distracting himself with some bad t.v. Why was he so flustered? He'd seen Cas naked before. It happens when you're in the field and no place to take a leak. Why did this feel different? Why did _he_ feel different? He tried to push the thought from his mind, but the image of Cas standing in the shower, dripping wet and ridiculously toned, was burned in his mind.

He had felt lust at seeing women in similar situations, but this didn't feel the same. The carnal desire to have women was a basic need. This…_feeling_ felt different. He felt it more in his heart than in his dick, and that was saying a lot. What was it?

Dean was still dealing with the confusion when the sound of the bathroom door opening made him jump. Cas walked out, looking comfortable in his loose pajama bottoms and t-shirt.

"All yours," he said with a smile.

"Thanks. Be right back," Dean said, grabbing his pajamas as well.

Cas watched Dean walk into the bathroom. He wanted to know what Dean was thinking, and he knew he could read his mind and find out. But this time, it felt invasive. Dean should feel safe with his thoughts. If he wanted to keep his feelings to himself, whatever they happened to be, he was perfectly able to.

Dean came back into the room dressed for bed. He forced a smile and sat down on the couch next to Cas. There was some horrible sci-fi movie on, and Dean turned to Cas.

"Care if we watch something else? We kind of see this every day," he joked.

"Yeah, how about we rent a movie? They have some options here," Cas said, pointing to a movie list on the table.

The two looked at the limited options. There was a romantic comedy about two zoo workers, some horror movie about werewolves (Dean and Cas both agreed it was a bad idea), and a documentary on how silk was made. They chose the lesser of evils, and went with a romantic comedy.

Halfway in, Cas realized this had been a terrible decision. The two people on screen were falling in love, and with the relationship came relationship issues. Finally, toward the end of the movie, the characters went to the woman's apartment, and before long, a full blown sex scene was playing on the screen in front of Cas and Dean.

They managed to play it off well.

"Ouch, that looks uncomfortable," Dean remarked.

"Ha, yeah. What if she fell off the bed?" Cas answered.

"You wouldn't believe it, but I've seen it happen," Dean said.

"Really? I bet that was so awkward for you both," Cas said.

"You'd be surprised. We recovered quickly," Dean said, turning toward Cas.

Cas swallowed. He was suddenly aware of how close they were sitting.

"How do you recover from that?" he asked.

"Well, it's sort of a…heat of the moment kind of thing," Dean answered, leaning his head forward. He was so close to Cas he could see individual eyelashes.

"And you just started where you left off?" Cas asked, voice catching slightly. He moved his head closer to Dean's. Their mouths were level, and so close Cas could feel Dean's breath on his lips.

"You have to ease back into it. Maybe start with a kiss," Dean said breathlessly.

Cas couldn't stand it any longer. He leaned forward and closed the distance between their mouths. Dean moaned into the kiss and tried to deepen it. But as he did so, the hole in his soul gave a terrible, aching jolt that made him yell out.

"Dean! I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have- I knew it would hurt, what was I thinking-?" Cas scrambled for words as Dean clenched his body in pain.

"No, Cas, I did it too! Ah! It isn't letting up!" Dean yelled.

Cas couldn't stand it. Dean was hurting and it was all because he couldn't control himself. He grabbed him by his waist, careful to avoid touching the skin, and dragged him onto the bed so he could stretch out. He tried using his Grace to take away the pain, but it made no difference. The pain that Dean had was from Lucifer himself, and Cas didn't have enough power to overcome it.

Dean writhed on the bed and Cas stayed by his side, saying nothing. How could he have done something so careless? After about ten minutes, Dean's painful moans began to subside.

"Dean? Is it any better?" Cas asked him. He had never felt so helpless before.

"Not completely, but it feels much better than it did. Cas, I-," he began, but Cas cut him off.

"No, I'm sorry. I know I crossed a boundary. You're straight, I know. It was a mistake. It won't happen again," Cas mumbled.

Dean's heart dropped. And in that instant, his shield went up.

"Forget about it. Blame it on the beers we had, and that stupid movie. I think I'll go call Sammy. I haven't had a chance to talk to him in a while," Dean said. He stood, wincing slightly, and grabbed his jacket and phone.

He walked out the door, glancing back as he did. Cas had put his head in his hands, and was hunched over on the side of the bed. Dean's heart ached for him, but he knew better than to go back in the room. He continued walking, keeping a close eye on everything around him, not wanting to let anything else have a chance to surprise him. He dialed Sammy's number.

"Hey man! Everything okay?" he asked when Sam answered, sounding far too cheerful.

"The usual. What about you? You sound different," Sam answered.

Damn brothers. How could they pick up on stuff like that over the phone?

"It's nothing, Sammy. When are you and Garth going to meet up with us? We haven't seen you in a few days. We've been staying over here at the Old Town Motel in Benson for a while-" Dean began, but Sam cut him off.

"You're _where_? Dean, lock your door. Don't open it for anyone but me," Sam said quickly.

Dean felt his adrenaline start pumping. Something was wrong.

"I'm not _in_ the room, Sammy. What's going on?"

"_Get there now_. The werewolves, they're here. We're right down the street from you, I had no idea you were so close. We've been following them but we've lost them. Go, NOW!" Sammy yelled.

Dean ran back to his room, prepared to fight for his life. And Cas' too, he thought anxiously.

But the room was empty. Torn to pieces, but entirely empty. Dean ran to the front desk, and the clerk smiled at him.

"Did your friend find you?" he asked cheerfully.

"What friend?" Dean panted.

"Your buddy. He came here and said he was with you and your roommate, but had forgotten your room number…are you okay?" he asked, but Dean was already sprinting back to the room. The damn clerk had given his room number to a werewolf, he could feel it.

His eyes scanned his room for any hint of where Cas could be. They landed on a piece of paper, whose corner was stained with a suspiciously red substance. Please, not blood. Not Cas' blood. He held the paper up to read the scrawled writing.

_**We have him.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Dean felt his heart drop. At that moment, he heard a car squealing to a stop outside the motel. Within seconds, Garth and Sam were in the room with him.

"Where's Cas?" Sam asked as soon as he had made sure Dean was in one piece.

Dean showed him the note. Sam read it quickly, his expression darkening.

"We have to get to the warehouse. That's where they were planning on meeting up," Garth said.

"What do we do when we find them? I know we're good, but we can't take twenty werewolves at once, especially if Cas is—unavailable," Dean finished, not able to say the word.

Garth patted his backpack.

"Don't worry, we were planning on busting up their meeting tonight anyway," he grinned.

"Tell me on the way, just get in the damn car," Dean said. Before heading out the door, he reached into his bag and pulled out Lucifer's knife. He had a feeling he was going to need it.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

They pulled up to the warehouse a few minutes later. Everything was eerily quiet.

"No guards?" Garth asked.

"Not a chance. Stay near me," Sammy said, as Garth grabbed his bag and they opened the door.

In an instant, two werewolves descended on them. Garth's rage transformed him into a werewolf almost instantly, and he began to fight, clawing and howling in a terrible rage. Sam took on the other werewolf. He was fast, but the werewolf was quicker; Sam was knocked to the ground. As the werewolf drew his arm back to make a fatal blow, he suddenly froze. Sam kicked out from under him in time for the werewolf to fall flat on the ground, the knife of Lucifer sticking out of his back.

Dean pulled the knife out and wiped it clean on his pants leg. Then he and Sam rushed to help Garth. They saw him a few feet away, transformed back into a human. He turned and grinned at their astonished faces, the other werewolf dead on the ground in front of him.

"No one messes with my pack," he said, pulling his backpack onto his shoulders and setting out for the warehouse.

Dean stayed back, just as they had planned, and hid out of sight as Garth led a tied-up Sam into the warehouse. He heard the snarls of the werewolves, and fear for his brother gripped his heart. He chanced a look through the door, and felt his heart jump to his throat.

The werewolves were all seated on makeshift pews facing up to the front where a tall, graying werewolf was standing. He growled low in his throat as Garth entered the room.

"What do you mean coming back here? You ran! You deserted us when that hunter came! I should tear you limb from limb right now," the elder werewolf bellowed at Garth.

"My apologies, sir. I had to keep my cover so I could bring you the hunter himself," Garth said calmly.

Sam, for his part, acted perfectly. He lunged at the ropes binding him, pretending to fight against a strong knot.

"And how do we know it's not a trap? How do we know you aren't working with him?" the werewolf asked.

"Because of what I have in my backpack. It's the head of his brother. He's the one you were truly after, wasn't it?" Garth answered, as Sam pretended to weep.

"No!" yelled a terrible voice.

Dean changed his position, and saw Cas, tied up in the corner of the warehouse. He felt a pain go through him. Cas had no idea this was an act. He didn't know Garth was lying to save himself and the others. All Cas knew was that Garth had one brother tied up, and claimed to have Dean's head, the man he cared so deeply for, in his backpack.

Cas tried to fight against the stupid bonds holding him in place. He tried to use his Grace to break them, become enraged, and kill the lot of them. But he couldn't. Something in him had broken when Dean had walked out the door. It was all he could do now just to exist, let alone fight.

The elder werewolf laughed a terrible laugh.

"You expect me to believe you killed the hunter by yourself? Your wolf is weak compared to ours. How would you have managed it?" he asked.

"Because he trusted me," Garth answered.

The werewolf gave Garth an appraising look.

"Very well. Bring me the backpack. If this is true, you will be rewarded highly," he said.

Dean felt panic rising in him. The werewolf couldn't open that there. The bomb inside would detonate, killing Garth and Sam. _And Cas_.

Dean couldn't let that happen. He ran as fast as he could to get in the door. He rushed into the warehouse, brandishing his knife and yelling for Sam, Garth and Cas. Garth heard him, and saw the elder werewolf begin to open the backpack. He pushed Sam down behind a pew as the elder werewolf jerked the backpack open.

There was an almighty explosion. Dean felt himself being thrown backwards by the force of it all. He blacked out, whether for a second or an hour, he didn't know. When he came to, the warehouse was smoldering, and Dean was lying on the ground in front of it. Somewhere in there were three people he truly cared about. He had to get into it. He flung his weight against the massive door that had been blown closed with the explosion, and somehow, it opened.

The scene inside was one of destruction and confusion. Nearly all the werewolves had been killed in the explosion. The few that remained were fighting a miraculously unharmed Sam and angry werewolf version of Garth. Suddenly, Dean felt clawed hands around his neck.

"Couldn't just die, could you? I stabbed you in the parking lot, you son of a bitch. Why won't you die?" the werewolf yelled at the top of his voice.

Dean couldn't breathe. His brother and Garth were too busy to even notice what was happening to him. He couldn't even see Cas anymore.

_Cas_.

At the thought of him, Dean somehow found the strength to push the werewolf backwards. He fell on top of the creature, whose hands were still choking him. Grasping for anything, Dean's hands closed around a piece of jagged metal from the warehouse. He mustered up all his remaining strength and drove it backwards as hard as he could. The hands around his throat loosened immediately. He turned around to see the werewolf with the metal sticking out of his chest. He grasped at it for a moment, then fell back, the life draining from his eyes.

Dean watched as Sam and Garth easily overcame the remaining few werewolves. There was only one thing on Dean's mind: Cas. He ran where the back of the warehouse had been. There, underneath a pile of rubble, Dean could make out two legs. With strength he didn't even know he had, he pulled the mess off of Cas, and felt a chill into his bones.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N This section has a lemon. You've been warned.**

"Cas. _Cas_," Dean begged. He reached up to touch his face, knowing full well that there would be no pain this time. He was right.

He could hear Sam and Garth coming behind up behind him. He didn't know what made him do it, and he didn't care if Garth or Sam saw. All he knew is that he had to give his angel what he had wanted all along.

Dean cupped Cas' face with his hands, and knelt down. He placed his lips on the lips of the angel softly, tears welling up in his eyes. Behind him, he heard audible sniffs from Garth and Sam.

Dean sat back up, tears streaming down his face.

"Why did you stop?" Cas asked, opening his eyes.

"_Cas_!" Dean shouted.

"Ugh, yeah. Could you untie me?" Cas said weakly.

Dean clumsily undid the knots binding Cas. His skin brushed the angel's several times, but no pain seared in his stomach.

"Cas, I didn't hurt when I touched you. I thought you were dead," Dean said.

"It's the knife. You destroyed its power with an act of pure love. Most people wouldn't run into a den of werewolves who were about to open a bomb. Speaking of, I'm going to kick your ass, Garth," Cas smiled.

"Should angels curse?" Garth asked playfully.

"I believe God would allow it in this situation," Cas replied.

Dean couldn't believe it. Without thinking, he leaned in and kissed Cas fiercely. Cas kissed him back, and Dean reveled in the feeling of his mouth against Cas', until he heard a soft cough behind him. They broke apart, and Dean turned to look into his brother's shocked face. He was trying to find the words to say when Sammy gave a shoulder shrug that clearly meant, "I knew it all along."

Garth giggled, and Dean turned to face him, amusement in his eyes.

"I'm not laughing _at_ you, Dean!" he smiled happily. "After all, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Who cares where happiness comes from?"

Dean chuckled at having his own words repeated back to him. He helped Cas to his feet, and hugged him tightly.

"How about we finish that movie?" Dean asked.

**VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV**

An hour later, cleaned, dry, and in their pajamas once more, Dean and Cas settled in to watch _The Zoo Keepers Daughter_. Even the title was horrible, but it didn't matter what was on the screen.

Dean had asked Garth and Sam to stay and play poker with them, but both of them had politely refused. Garth had said he was tired and going home to his wife, while Sam claimed to be too exhausted to do anything but watch _Law and Order_ and go to bed. Dean knew they were both lying, and he loved them for it.

Dean and Cas had sprawled out on the bed to watch the movie this time. They made no secret about their attempts to feel each other as much as they possibly could, and spent a majority of the movie holding hands, reveling in the fact that they could finally touch. Once the movie was nearly over, and the sex scene came back on, Cas turned to Dean.

"You know, you never did tell me how you get back into the mood when someone takes a tumble out of the bed," he said.

"Hm. I guess not. How about I show you instead?" Dean answered.

Not waiting for a reply, Dean slid his hand up the back of Cas' head, and pulled him close for a kiss. Cas moaned and wriggled against him. He deepened the kiss, and let his hands roam down the front of Cas' body.

"Ouch!" Dean cried out.

Cas immediately jumped away.

"Is it back? Did I do something wrong?" he asked, as Dean dissolved into giggles next to him. "You were _faking_ it! You sneak!"

Cas playfully pushed Dean, who fell back on the bed laughing. Determined to have the last laugh, Cas sat up in the bed, and pulled his shirt over his head. Dean's laughter stopped quickly. Cas was beautiful.

"Not laughing now, I see," Cas said, as he leaned down and kissed Dean. He kissed him passionately, stopping only long enough to pull his shirt above his head. Then he carefully unclasped Dean's belt. He palmed Dean's long member through his clothes, causing him to moan and tremble under his touch.

He carefully unbuttoned Dean's jeans, and painfully slowly unzipped them. He pulled them off, then began kissing down Dean's neck, going lower with every kiss. He reached Dean's underwear, and his mouth hovered over his length. He leaned down closer, and gave it a swift nibble. Dean moaned loudly. Cas grinned to himself and pulled Dean's underwear off at an agonizing pace. Finally, Dean was free from his underwear, and Cas tossed them off the side of the bed.

Cas rubbed his hand up and down Dean's hard cock, massaging it and dragging his thumb over the slit at the top. Then, when Dean thought he couldn't stand it anymore, he took him in his mouth and began to suck. Dean's eyes rolled back in his head as his hips bucked with pleasure. This was better than any blowjob he'd ever had.

"Mmm. Cas, sit up, baby," he said.

Cas felt his ears go red at this loving name, but did as Dean asked.

It was Dean's turn to go down on Cas. But he didn't have the self-control of the angel. He ripped his pants open and pulled down his underwear. Seeing Cas' hard member in front of him, he greedily took it into his mouth with such force that Cas' knees felt weak. Cas moaned and thrust into Dean's mouth.

Dean sat back after a few moments, lust in his eyes.

"I want to take this to the next level, but honestly, I don't have much experience here," he said.

"Nor do I. But I want to learn," Cas replied.

Dean walked to his bag and pulled out a container of Vaseline. He kept it with him for when traveling got lonely, and knew it would do the job as lube.

"I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, so let me know if you want to stop, okay?" Dean asked.

Cas nodded, knowing full well that Dean could do whatever he wanted to with him and he'd love it.

"Do you want to be on top or bottom?" Dean asked sheepishly.

"Bottom," Cas answered. He knew more about that position thanks to Dean's never-ending supply of porn he stored on the computer.

Dean lubed up a finger and moved Cas into position. He played around with his opening, making Cas gasp and groan. When he thought he was ready, he slowly pushed his finger in. He couldn't believe how warm and tight it was. His dick felt harder just thinking about it.

Cas moaned, and Dean sank another finger in, scissoring with his fingers to spread the opening wider. When he pushed his fingers in, he hit Cas' sweet spot, causing him to jump and moan loudly. The sound of it made Dean even hotter. He pulled out his fingers, and angled himself at Cas' entrance. Slowly, he pushed in. The feeling was so incredible he had to stop a moment to make sure he didn't finish too soon.

Cas grunted as Dean began to move, slowly at first, then picking up speed. He felt so good inside of him, and when he would hit that spot inside, Cas felt like he could explode.

Dean noticed Cas getting harder than ever, and reached out to take his cock in his hands. Cas groaned with pleasure, closing his eyes and arching his back. Dean knew he couldn't last much longer after looking at that sight, and began to buck harder and faster, hitting Cas' sweet spot nearly every time. He jerked him off faster too. Soon, Cas began to feel a warm pull in his lower stomach.

"Oh, please don't stop. It feels so good," Cas moaned.

Dean wanted to watch Cas explode with pleasure, and thought he knew how to make it happen. Keeping his rhythm, Dean leaned down and looked straight into Cas' eyes. Then he moaned out his name.

"_Cas_…"

That was all it took. Cas yelled Dean's name and came all over his stomach and Dean's hand. His muscles clenched around Dean's cock, and Dean felt himself about to climax as well. He grunted, thrusting into Cas, and came inside his angel.

The two sank onto the bed, exhausted. Dean curled up into Cas' arms, enjoying his warmth and hearing his breathing slowly come back to normal.

"Cas…I love you," Dean said, meaning it more than anything he had ever said in his life.

"And I love you. So very, very much," Cas replied. He suddenly stopped, hands on Dean's stomach, and smiled.

"What is it?" Dean asked him.

"The hole in your soul. It's gone," Cas answered.

"So I'm healed?" Dean asked.

"Yes. You are one hundred percent whole again," Cas replied.

Dean grinned lazily. He could tell the difference. He had, in fact, never felt like his soul was as full as it was at this moment.

"You realize, you're the happiness my soul was missing? I hope you know, it means I'll have to have you forever," Dean teased.

Cas smiled at him, and said, "I'm looking forward to it."

**A/N I hope you all enjoyed this! I wrote it in about 7 hours. Once I got started, I had to see how it ended! **


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